My ministry email has been full lately with people telling me how they have grown into an intimate relationship with Christ through times of intense trial. Would you believe that the majority of these this week are people that have been hurt by another Christian? Some people have left church completely due to the lack of love from pastors and those in the congregation.
If you are one of these hurting ones remember that it is often through our tragedies that triumphant living comes. We need to realize that none of us is perfect. We all mess up. The chances of one of us messing up in some way or the other this year is about 100%.
Wouldn't it be nice if those who have hurt others needlessly in the body of Christ, especially at church, would just say "I am sorry, I goofed up" Most of the time the spirit of pride comes in and that just doesn't happen. The weaker among us give up and decide that if God's people act like that then how can they call themselves Christians. Those people give up and some go back into sin, thinking, "What the heck, there is no God". The stronger among us press into God in our hurt and pain but we still become the walking wounded. If we are strong enough we can use the hurtful experience to reach down and help a brother or sister who is going through the same pain and tell them how we survived with God's help.
Sometimes you hear people say, "Well I am only human, only in this suit of flesh" That's true, but do we too often use that as a "cop-out?" Covering up our sins in word and deed to others only serves to keep us stuck in that bad behavior. We, instead, can use the experience as motivation to treat others better.
We need to confess our sins to God. The bible says "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1-9
Next we need to confess our sin to those we damaged needlessly. The sad fact is that some may have been hurt so badly that they will never forgive. It doesn't matter. We have at least tried and maybe somewhere down the road they will reach forgiveness.
Next we need to make a list of any lessons we have learned. Take it to God and make a plan to not act like that anymore. In other words, we make an effort to turn from that sin of participating in hurting other Christians.
Most of the sins we Christians commit towards other believers come down to one root sin, in my opinion. That's the sin of Pride. Satan was a beautiful angel he had a place in the courts of heaven, the bible tells us. That wasn't good enough for him, and because of pride he wanted to be God. He lost his place in heaven over the sin of pride. We see that so often in the body. God gives one person a gift, different from the one He gives us, and we want that gift. We become prideful. We then begin to entertain telling that person off, or talking behind their back and spreading gossip. Some of the best gossips I have ever seen have been in the body. Did you ever go to a bible study and it was time for prayer? The leader says "Any prayer requests?" The next thing you know Sister Somebody speaks up "Please pray for so and so," she says. "Yes, her husband is having an affair and it's tearing her up" That sounds okay at first. This dear saint is asking for prayer for a hurting sister. The only problem is that her friend told her that in confidence. She asked her to pray about it in her PERSONAL prayer time, not in a bible study. Next thing you know it's spreading through the church like wildfire. The hurting sister finally gets her husband into church and people look at them and begin to whisper. No one wants to associate with the couple now and the adulterer decides they are all a bunch of hypocrites and never returns to the one place he should find help. Come on, you know what I am talking about here!! Lets resolve to keep things that people ask us to pray about between ourselves, that person and the Father this year! This is simply one illustration of how good intentions can go wrong. So many people are hurt like this needlessly.
Stop talking about the situation to everyone who will listen. Stop justifying your actions. Let it go to God. If you have to talk about it talk to HIM about it in private prayer time.
It may take time for the damage done to quit being a source of gossip. It may take months or years. Sooner or later it will be forgotten as folks go on to some other "drama" During this time be resolved to taking what ever punishment God gives, we reap what we sow. Use this time to promise yourself and God that you will never participate in hurting another believer again.
I want you to know that I hear from some folks who have been hurt so badly that they feel as if they can never walk into church again. Don't let that happen in your congregation. Welcome believers. God is going to hold it against us for any one of His little sheep we have caused to go astray!
If you have been hurt by other Christians know that God sees every tear you have cried. The bible tells us he holds each and every one in a little vial. When He comes back every tear will be wiped away. You are precious to Him. We need to keep our eyes on Him and off of people. Imperfect humans will disappoint us. God never does. No bad thing comes from Him!
In His Love and Service,
Pastor Cat Miller
Please visit my web site www.helpforgodshurtingpeople.com You will find encouragement and fellowship there!