Toxic Men
You Need To Avoid
"For
your Maker is your Husband—the Lord of Hosts Is His Name. The Holy one of
Israel is your Redeemer; The God of the whole earth He is Called" Isaiah
54V5
There are
men out there that you want to avoid on your search for “Mr. Right.” Some men
are so toxic that women have had to spend years of their lives in counseling
after coming to their senses and leaving them. With a little common sense and a plan of action every woman
can avoid the heartache and emotional upheaval that comes from loving a
loser.
If you
are reading this and have been with one of these jerks don’t be hard on
yourself. These types of men have radar.
They single in on sweet, loving and kind women. You are probably a sweetheart! When you finish reading this article
you will be a smarter “sweetheart.”
The first
thing to look for should be a no-brainer but it happens more often than you
might think. It’s a little
three-letter word spelled J-O-B. Do not look at a man without a job as
long-term relationship material. The only exception would be if the man were
independently wealthy. There are
no such things in life as “free rides.” The man without a job is looking for an
attractive, financially independent woman to live off of. Don’t listen to excuses, because the
man without a job has a million of them.
Do not let his hard luck stories get to you. He has probably played this game before, with more than one
woman. The reason he is alone now
is that some other poor woman finally got wise and threw him out. If you end up marrying a man like this
you better be prepared to support him for the rest of your married life. He’s looking for a “sugar-momma”
You will
want to avoid a man who constantly talks about how wrong the last woman treated
him. Maybe she did or maybe she
didn’t. If she did and he’s still
talking about it he is not emotionally ready to go on. He has baggage and you don’t need that!
When men use women as an emotional fortress they hardly ever marry them. It ends up that the woman they vent to
is usually being used as a transitional woman. Try to avoid being the first woman a man dates after a bad
split up.
Do not
date a man who is emotionally involved with his ex wife or his last
girlfriend. A divorced man, if he
has children, should have a custody agreement with his ex. The only time he should be having
contact with an ex is in regards to arrangements for the children or in case of
emergencies with the children. A
man who ends up getting back together with his ex can break the heart of a
woman who is emotionally invested in him.
If he constantly gets calls from her when you are together, if she still
has little things over at his place, then please take this for what it is; a
big red flag that he is not available.
Any man
who shows road rage or inappropriate anger while you are out in public has
issues. Don’t try and play
“counselor” to this type of man.
He has anger from something he has not yet dealt with and it can rear its
ugly head in public at any given time.
A lot of women who have been with batterers noticed this kind of
behavior in the beginning and ignored it.
Don’t become a statistic by making excuses for this man’s behavior. This man has poor “impulse control” and
without counseling it won’t get any better. You are not in the rehabilitation business. You are
emotionally mature and you want a man who is also.
When you
are with a man you should have his full attention. If he constantly stares at other women and looks them up and
down he is just not that in to you.
It hurts a woman’s self esteem to be with a man like that. There is a
man out there who won’t be able to take his eyes off of you when he is with
you. Wait for that man. Don’t be surprised if the man who
stares at women all the time starts to say hurtful things to you about your
appearance. These men are into
fantasy in their heads and no one woman ever compares with the “Playboy Bunny”
type woman running through it.
Unless
you are just into it for a good time you will want to avoid the man who is
seeing more than one woman at a time.
When you are with him he will run the others down. When he is with them he runs you
down. He seems to enjoy the game
of pitting women against each other.
He is never going to change.
He can’t commit to a woman and he may never be able to do that. He uses one woman as an excuse to exit
a relationship that he cannot commit to with another. This type of man always keeps a woman dangling on hope. The women he is with are always hoping
and praying that he will leave the other(s) though it usually never turns out
that way.
Do not
date a man who wants to constantly borrow money from you. Don’t fall for his stories about how he
will pay you back as soon as his big deals come in. If he were truly an entrepreneur he wouldn’t have to be
borrowing money. That’s what banks
are for. You are not the bank nor
are you a savings and loan company.
People should be attracting another person who is like them. If you have enough money to lend then
you are responsible. Look for
another man who is just as responsible as you are.
If you
are with a man like one of the ones mentioned don’t panic. Consider yourself
lucky to still be in one piece and move on before any real damage to your heart
or finances is done. Don’t worry,
sulk or feel sorry for yourself.
Don’t try to convince yourself it’s all in your head. Don’t ignore red
flags; large or small, they are there for a reason. There is a prince out there
among men and when you find him he will have been worth the wait!