Help For Gods Hurting People

Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with
them: ‘The one I kiss is the man; arrest him and lead him away
under guard.’ Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, ‘Rabbi!’ and
kissed him. The men seized Jesus and arrested him...”Mark 14:44-46

 

Have you ever been betrayed by someone you loved, if so you can rest in the calm assurance that Jesus, The Messiah, knows exactly how hurt you were. In the above scriptures we read of the betrayal of Christ by Judas.  Judas was one of Jesus Christ’s inner circle.

Betrayal comes in many forms for us. It might have been the betrayal of our marriage by a spouse, the betrayal of a close friend, the betrayal of one of our own children, or the betrayal of a trusted co-worker.

Betrayal, and the bitterness it causes,  can keep us stuck for years. Just when we think we have forgotten it a memory will pop into our heads that takes us back to the hurt and pain we felt.

In studying betrayal I have come to a few conclusions. Betrayal is motivated by three main things, in my opinion. Those three things are selfishness, greediness, and  power. Power comes by knowing something about you that was shared in private and might be of value to someone else.

In praying about helping myself and others overcome the hurt of betrayal I noticed something, Jesus when Judas appeared before Him, did not call Judas any bad names. Most of us would have been tempted to lash out in some colorful language. No, the scripture tells us that Jesus referred to Judas as “Friend.”

“Jesus replied, ‘Friend, do what you came
for...’” Matthew 26:50

Because we are not Divine, but in these suits of flesh, the first thing we start to do is think of ways of retaliation . Our carnal minds think of all the things we would like to do to get this person “Back”

I have found that retaliation only serves to give the betrayer justification for their own actions. As hard as it is God wants us to give up the thoughts of retaliation and forgive the betrayer.


“Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for
they do not know what they are doing...” .
Luke 23:34

1. Forgiveness is the antidote for the desire for
revenge.
2. Forgiveness is the antidote for bitterness.
3. Forgiveness does not mean you will always experience
reconciliation with the one who betrayed
you.
4. Forgiveness means you are letting go of your right to hurt them back.


Denial of the betrayal will only lead to more of the same. If we ignore the betrayal, just to keep the peace, we are going to be betrayed over and over again. Our self-esteem suffers horribly, when we refuse to confront betrayal.

There are times we tend to blame ourselves, for the betrayal of us by someone else. This again is the minds “defense mode” designed to keep the focus off of the fact that we have been hurt needlessly by someone we  trusted and only sought to love.

A lot of people who have been betrayed end up isolating themselves. Because they have had vicious, and often untrue, things said about them they may have a hard time facing the people that they believe these things were a source of gossip for them.

I believe, as hard as it can be sometimes, the best way to handle betrayal is to hold our heads eye and march forward. In a short while all the horrible things the betrayer did and said about you will be forgotten, and folks move on to their next drama.

Facing our fears empowers us. Refuse to talk about the actions of the betrayer in your life. The act of ignoring their comments shows you to be someone others admire. Last night I was watching Bill O’Reilly interviewing George W. Bush. He kept trying to trap Bush into saying something negative about President Obama. He even brought up to former president Bush all the horrible things Obama had said about him, and all the blame Obama had placed on the Bush administration for the current economic woes.

Bush refused to talk badly about Obama. He said, “I refuse to talk about a  fellow president.” To me, that showed him to be a man of integrity, honor, and a true gentlemen.

When we refuse to discuss our betrayer, others see us the same way.

Regardless of how we are treated we can choose to still be faithful to our friends. We can release our resentments by taking them to God as Job did in the following scriptures;

"Listen to my bitter complaint. Don't
condemn me God! Why do you keep me under guard?
Do you think I'm a sea monster? I lie down. I try to
rest. I look for relief from my pain. But you terrify me
with dreams. You send me nightmares. I'd rather be
strangled than live in this miserable body."
Job 10:1

We can be honest with the Lord, if anyone knows how badly betrayal hurts, it is Him.

We can make a conscious effort to move forward into the rest of our lives, being a bit more careful about whom we let into them. We can save our “true confessions” for God and our counselors and not talk about our any feelings, and personal lives with ever person we meet. We learn from all that happens to us, the good and the bad,  and we mature into who we were meant to me in Christ.

Father, betrayal is always painful. How well, you know that. Pour your healing balm of Gilead over the broken hearts of those of Your children who are suffering it’s consequences. Bring these hurting ones faithful friends and companions who “stick closer then a brother.” In Your Name the Name above all names we pray. Amen and Amen