The Importance Of Learning To Take Responsibility When We Mess Up

"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments; for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil." Ecclesiastes 12:13-14


In the past couple of weeks situations have happened in our lives in which God is shining a spotlight upon the "lesson" of taking responsibility for our own actions. There have been situations where people have been less then forth coming, and then when questioned about it, they turn the blame around on us. I know, that some of you know what I am talking about.


It is truly, at the very least, dishonest to deal with someone in that manner. In the most severe form, it becomes psychological abuse.


People nowadays seem to have a hard time taking responsibility for anything. It's always someone else's fault, someone "made" them like they are.


I never watch "The Bachelor" anymore due to the fact that I find it abusive towards women.  I dislike seeing all these women put in front of a man, who is standing before a buffet of the most beautiful women in the world, and making a choice based mostly on physical beauty. 


Last night, my daughter had the show on, they had the bachelor on who apparently was on a few seasons ago, and decided not to be with either of the two "runners up" for his affection. Instead he just walked away without a bride.


Now he is back, and he is blaming the whole thing, his inability to commit, on his father. He claims he has been through 3 years of therapy and is now ready to pick a bride. So basically this guy was an avoidance addict. Instead of just concentrating on that aspect, he blamed his father for his problem. Perhaps, as a psychologist, I can see that it was a valid reason for this man's behavior. But now, I would rather have him say something like, "I should never have gone on the show before, I wasn't ready."


There comes a point in which God expects us to take responsibility for our actions. Yes, we may have been in an abusive relationship, but if we stayed there when we knew it (as adults) we have to understand that is a weakness in our own character. We were depending on someone else to take care of us, rather then God. We were staying in a job where we were being abused, because of the "money."


Now, as unfair as it seems, we have to start right there in our confession to God. We have to say something like, "God, I should of left but I didn't have the faith in your provision for me that I should have had."  After confession, then we repent and then comes restoration.


In the Garden of Eden Eve does not take responsibility for not obeying God. Instead she says the following;

"And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat." Genesis 3:13


That's what I call a "half-truth" it's true but no one put a gun to Eve's head, she made her own decision to go along with it.


Have you ever had a time in your life when you and another person had a "dispute" or disagreement? You know what happened. You remember it clearly. Perhaps you get into the office of a supervisor or human resource person to tell your story and the other person denies what they said, or what they did.  That is one of the most trying circumstances a person can go through. Though you are willing to take responsibility for what you said and did, the other person flat out lies about their part in the situation.


Yesterday we got a nasty note from our garbage man. We have had a lot of extra trash because of the move. We used a lot of paper to keep things from breaking. The garbage man claimed we did not leave the garbage cans where they should be, but "12" feet up our driveway. He refused to pick up the trash. Of course, what he said was not true, but at the end of a day, after a holiday the garbage man refused to do what was expected of him. He just didn't take responsibility. He blamed "us"


Folks we are responsible to God for our actions towards others. Christians especially need to do the right thing. I pray for God to keep me close to Him. I pray for Him to give me the fortitude to tell the truth when I "mess up" and then give me the strength to assure the person I wronged that I am sorry and it won't happen again, with the help of God in my life. But when we deny any responsibility in the hurt feelings of others, and find scapegoats for our actions, we break God heart and God cannot work out our "rough" edges.


None of us is perfect, we all mess up. The humble person admits their mistakes, asks forgiveness and moves forward with the help of God. Let's decide to quit making others the "excuse" for our behavior. The situation will heal when we can admit to another and especially to God that we were wrong! Taking personal responsibility is the duty of a man or woman of God.  Shifting the blame, and denying our responsibility in less then perfect situations shows that God is not on the throne of our lives, but we are.


Father, life gets tough at times. We know that Satan is "the accuser." Help us to admit our faults to you and one another when need be. Teach us to take personal responsibility for our actions, and in doing so, we humble ourselves before others and before You. In your Name, the Name above all names we pray. Amen and Amen.

© Cathie Miller 2011 


For We Know That Nothing...No Thing..  is impossible with God