I get many letters from people who think that they will not be forgiven by God for something that happened in their past. Some sin that they committed before they were saved that keeps right on haunting them to this day.
Satan uses these things to torment us. The battle, like all of them, is in the mind. Satan has an agenda to constantly bring the things from the past to mind. That is what I refer to as a tormenting spirit.
It needs to go and it will go when we renew our minds with what God's word says regarding forgiveness of our sins.
Lets start at the beginning. The beginning is where the blinders were removed from our eyes and we suddenly saw ourselves in all our sinful glory. The Holy Spirit came over us and we realized that we were lost, and without the forgiveness of God we were going right to hell.
I remember to this day exactly where I was when I was moved by the Holy Spirit to ask for God's forgiveness for my sins. I had been invited to a bible study for women in 1975. To tell you the truth my motive for going was not great. I had three small children; I was pregnant with a fourth and was living in a town in California without a car of my own to drive. I craved the company of adults.
A neighbor invited me to a bible study and then said the wonderful words "We have free childcare there." She also said she would be glad to drive us there. So I went. I don't remember what was said, I can't even tell you exactly what book of the bible we were studying. Suddenly I felt conviction of my sins. I remember the facilitator talking about the fact that Jesus died for our sins and that He was waiting with open arms for us to accept the free gift of salvation. Then she gave the invitation. I remember myself and three other women accepted the Lord that day and were baptized in long white robes in the ladies swimming pool.
It was then for the next few years as I struggled with one foot in Satan's territory and the other in the Lords that I started to get convicted that some of the things I was doing were not good for me. For the first time when I participated in some of the things I had done without a thought, in the past, I would feel a sense of guilt.
I was great at making excuses for some of the things I did. The "long story short" of this is that after taking two steps forward and many painful steps back for years I finally "Got It."
So I asked God's forgiveness for the umpteenth time and this time I began to follow Him completely. That's what we do. What He does is help us keep our promises to Him.
The bible tells us that God has removed our sins from His mind, "As far as the East is from the West." He never even remembers them. If we walk forward with Him, through the renewing of our mind, the bible says that our sins are gone and once they are removed we are as newborn babes. God sees us as "White As Snow."
From that point on, when we are trying our bests to live for Jesus if we have thoughts of our past mistakes come to mind they are from Satan and we have to make a conscious effort to put them out of our heads.
The best way to fight back with Satan is to do what Jesus did. When Jesus was in the wilderness for forty days and forty nights the only time Satan was able to attack was when Jesus got in the flesh. For instance, when Jesus said "I hunger" Satan told Him "Well, if you are the Son of God turn these stones into bread." Jesus replied with the following "It is written, man shall not live from bread alone, but from every Word that proceedeth from the Father." Then, Satan left Him alone for a time.
That is what I have learned to do to fight the devil. When something comes to my mind that I KNOW is not of God I will say, "Devil, you are a liar. The Word says "Therefore there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ." I have many scriptures I use and I advise you to find some of your own and before you know it your mind is going to be free from tormenting thoughts.
One day you will wake up and find out that you are FREE. "Whom the Son sets free is free indeed."
There is not one sin, not one that God is not more then willing to forgive. The key is to not repeat them. The way to stay free is to stay in the Word and quote the Word.
I pray that you stop looking at your past and cast thoughts of it away! I like this quote from a poem I read once. "You did what you knew to do, when you knew better you did better."
Let go of your past. God has!