There is not one soul on earth that will not be faced with loneliness at one time or another during their life. If you learn to celebrate your lonely times in life you will be a lot happier.
Instead of feeling sorry for yourself start to see loneliness as a blessing. Make a list of all the positive things about being alone. Yes, there are some!
See this time alone as preparation time for the rest of your life, not as a permanent condition. Stop and think about the day that you met the last person who was significant in your life. This person, more likely than not, came into your life when you least expected it. It will and can happen like that again. It could happen before the day is over. Life changes happen instantly and that is what makes life so interesting. The next time you are tempted to feel sorry for yourself change your thoughts. Start anticipating someone wonderful that is just around the corner of your life journey.
When you have down moments understand that this is a normal part of being single. One day you will be thrilled to be alone and the next day you may think, “When am I going to meet someone to share the rest of my life with?” When you start to sink into depressing thoughts shift your thinking to the reasons it’s good to be alone. You can eat what you want; watch whichever T.V. show you want and spend time doing exactly what YOU want to do.
Moving away from being lonely to being part of a couple again is a process. There is nothing you can do to speed up the process and many people have learned that the hard way. Jumping into another relationship simply out of loneliness and boredom will not satisfy the inner longing for your true soul mate. You don’t want another heartbreak on your plate. Take your time and don’t panic. Life is like a wheel, sometimes we are on the bottom but the wheel moves forward and before you know it we are back on top of things.
This is a good time to find out what you are all about. Make a list of the things you have always wanted to do. Start making preparations today to do one of those things. Enroll in a crafts class, a cooking class, or a writers group. Take a class, just for fun, at your local community college. Make sure that the class is something you have a real interest in. It is easier to meet someone like you when you do what you enjoy. People that enjoy the same types of things will surround you and if you do happen to meet someone special at one of these events it will insure that you at least have “one” significant thing in common.
Stop and ask yourself the following question, “If I had a partner today where would I want to go?’ Then go there yourself. Sometimes people alone are hesitant to go some where by themselves. They imagine that everyone there will be looking at them and wondering why they are alone. This is so far from reality; people are usually too self-centered to notice much of anything beyond their own experiences. If it makes you feel uncomfortable to go somewhere alone, muster up your courage and do it anyway. Anytime we successfully do something that “scares” us, we become stronger and more self-confident.
Right now you are simply feeling a loss of direction. You may have gotten used to being a part of a couple and you are just like a fish out of water, you don’t know what to do with yourself. You may spend a lot of time and energy wondering what the other person is doing and daydreaming of them ringing your doorbell. If you didn’t end the relationship this is normal. We don’t like change. It makes us feel uncomfortable and we just want to feel “normal” again. This feeling will pass and it will pass quicker if you tell yourself “It’s time for me to move forward, not backwards”
This is a time to open yourself up to other people around you. Find a local volunteer position and give yourself to other hurting people. It’s amazing how giving to others brings back more to us then we ever expected.
Before you know it your life will change again and you won’t be alone anymore. This is a natural passage of life and fighting it only prolongs your agony. Move through the experience. Tell yourself “I am not stopping I am moving through.” Only those who stop and give up stay lonely forever. Make up your mind to enjoy life through all the passages, good and bad, and you will be a much happier person.