Are You A Love Addict?

Thus says the Lord: “In a time of favor I have answered you; in a day of salvation I have helped you; I will keep you and give you as a covenant to the people, to establish the land, to apportion the desolate heritages, saying to the prisoners, ‘Come out,’ to those who are in darkness, ‘Appear.’ They shall feed along the ways; on all bare heights shall be their pasture; Isaiah 49:8-9


The reason I went into counseling was because, once learning the secret as to why I was continually getting into "deep holes" over and over again, I wanted to help others to learn the same things and get victory over the pain of love addiction.


For a lot of us who came out of "love addiction" it took a lot of bad relationships to learn that we were inviting "losers" into our lives, because they felt familiar to us for one reason or another.


Another reason is because some of us didn't get the love we wanted from one, in some cases both, of our parents and so we kept choosing partners that didn't really treat us right trying to get them to treat us right, as we had hoped as children our parent(s) would have done.


When I finally realized that it wasn't the other person that had a problem, but the fact that I kept picking people with the same problems of being unavailable emotionally, then God began to heal me and move my life in the direction He wanted it to go in.


I spent time on my knees, when someone had hurt me, putting my fist up to God and saying, "Why do you allow me to get hurt like this?"


Finally God led me to a point where I could see that it wasn't Him hurting me. It was the people I let into my life. God then led me to books that helped me, people that helped me and counselors that helped me.


Looking back on it, it's a miracle how one door after the other opened when God wanted me free of love addiction. Love addiction isn't always with romantic partners either. Sometimes we have "love addiction" issues with children and with friends and family members that continue to hurt us. We must understand that when these folks hurt us over and over we need to move in a completely different direction.


I like this little "book" because it clearly taught me that until I started moving in a different direction things would never change in my life. I found it years ago on a web site regarding love addiction.



Chapter 1.

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…
I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in this same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in… its a habit.
But, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5.

I walk down another street.


Chapter one is where I initially found myself, I knew that I needed to change. I just didn't know how.

Chapter two is where we get hurt again, after having realized we have a problem. It's the point in which we cannot believe we fell into the same trap again; we still haven't believed it enough to change.

Chapter three is where we begin to become aware of our "habits." We then say to God, "This is my fault! I see now what I am doing wrong!"

Chapter 4 is the point of awareness, when someone comes into our presence that is not what we need, we walk around that person. If it's family members, or friends that constantly use and abuse us, we avoid them like the plaque.

Chapter five is the point of being healed. We just don't "go there" period!

Now, like with any other addiction, we can't "play" with our weaknesses and not get burned, badly. We know that being hurt feels bad, and we have learned the "red flags" of those who hurt us. We walk away.

For the Christian, God then comes on the scene and we remember the passage of scripture in Jeremiah 29-11 that says the following;

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."


God has a plan for us. The plan has been there all along. Now we are ready to do things His way. We never want to walk down the street of dysfunction again!


Father you have done wonders in our lives. You have brought us out of the valley of addictive behavior and you desire to set our feet on solid ground. We surrender our lives to you today, and ask you to reveal to us Your marvelous plans for our lives. In Your Name, the Name above all names we pray. Amen and Amen


© Cathie Miller 2011

For We Know That Nothing...No Thing..  is impossible with God